In the early stages of transgender dating, texting is a convenient and frivolous way to get to know your partner. What I’m here to tell you is that it can last forever – longer than you think. Nor is it merely a source of temporary annoyance. This kind of extended texting threatens your transgender dating life in two important ways:
1) You become frustrated and eventually lose interest. (This is especially true if you think you’ve spent a lot of time texting.)
2) texting gives you a life of your own, and you may get the wrong impression about the person you think you’re dating, which is usually not true in real life.
The general rule of online trans dating is that you want to meet as soon as possible.
Emailing, texting, and making phone calls are all tools for building basic rapport so you can sit comfortably across the table and have a drink with someone in real life. Ideally, you can text for a few days – up to a week – until one of them suggests a meeting. Some people just seem to like texting, though. (as a woman, I’ve been responding to complaints from women who want to follow the traditional trans dating role of being asked out by a man.) “They asked.
Like most women, I don’t know! Well, I think there are three main reasons:
1.They’re busy keeping you online
They keep in touch because they can’t see you now. However, they don’t want to miss the chance to see you in the near future. Maybe they’re traveling or dealing with family, work or health issues and aren’t ready to meet. This happens more often than we might think: they’re transgender, they’re dating other people, and they want to see how things are going before they completely stop connecting with you.
2.They’re not sure they like you
They use text messages to see if there is a chemical reaction. I know it’s not a good idea! Some people just aren’t good at texting, so it’s not a fair test. In addition, the real danger is that you get angry, get bland, and start offering succinct answers – killing any potential romance before you even get started.
3.They’re not sure you like them
Some men are insecure and will seek out enough positive feedback to gain enough confidence to date you. It doesn’t make sense. You’ve replied to the last 20 texts, which means you’re interested, right? How much more encouragement can you offer?
However, you are not helpless!
Here are three tips to end your texting hell:
1) decline prompt
The formula is simple: flat text. Suggest answering in real life. Ex: this is a good question about movies. I want to tell you my favorite movie over a beer.
2) set some boundaries
Stop being crazy early. Example: “I’m not much of a texter, but it would be fun to meet you.” Let me know if you’d be interested in calling or making an appointment.
3) ask them out
In general, directness is best. You will save time and energy. Example: “you sound interesting. Would you like to meet IRL? “